1 bdrm apt gd nghbrd with w/d hook close to d and c. call 555-3425
This is an ad in the paper. It looks like this because many people can't afford to write whole words.
What does it say? well in most cases you have to fill in the blanks on your own.
1 bedroom apartment in a good neighborhood with a washer and dryer hook-up close to downtown and college. call 555-DICK.
Despite the strange words there are some important things that this person left out. Like the price.
Because they left out the price, you can assume that they're going to try to take you for all they can. You can bet the price of the place is going to be padded up and stuff. $400 a month plus damage deposit and you have to pay your own electric bill as well as an activation fee.
That can become anywhere between $700-$1100 for the very first month. scary isn't it?
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Lickables
If you have ever seen this ad then you know very well what I'm talking about.
There once was a company that created the worst ad in the world. It portrayed a child doing aerobics and such.
It would have been perfectly fine if under normal circumstances, but when you look at it you see something off.
That's right. The ad tells you nothing of the company. It's like "Hey, let's just slap a picture of a smiling child who isn't more than 6 or 7 up there and put our company name right above her. Who the hell does that?
Oh, and the company was called Lickables so the ad implied that the company thought that 6 year olds were lickable.
There once was a company that created the worst ad in the world. It portrayed a child doing aerobics and such.
It would have been perfectly fine if under normal circumstances, but when you look at it you see something off.
That's right. The ad tells you nothing of the company. It's like "Hey, let's just slap a picture of a smiling child who isn't more than 6 or 7 up there and put our company name right above her. Who the hell does that?
Oh, and the company was called Lickables so the ad implied that the company thought that 6 year olds were lickable.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Why does Journalism suck?
A good question with no real definite answer.
But journalism doesn't really suck. Many time you'll find some useful information in journalistic stories.
There was a time when I was starting to love journalism. But recently I can't stand being in the lab for some reason.
It feels like the lights are always digging into my skull.
Just being in our room makes me feel tired and worn out. I could go somewhere completely energized and get back into the computer lab and, within moments, I feel half dead.
On top of that I've been making more and more mistakes recently. Mistakes that I would never have made in my own room on my own computer. It seems like there is some force in there that can't make me concentrate. Or possibly I'm concentrating too hard now. I've been sitting here typing at forty words a minute without even thinking.
But this isn't the way I should be writing. This isn't what I felt when I wrote my greatest story.
I don't get that chill that I usually do when I write something truly great.
Why does my strength fade?
Why is it so hard to do what I love to do?
Why don't I bring a pencil and notepad into the bathroom when I get practically write an entire story by the time I take a leak? Why?
What the hell was I talking about?
But journalism doesn't really suck. Many time you'll find some useful information in journalistic stories.
There was a time when I was starting to love journalism. But recently I can't stand being in the lab for some reason.
It feels like the lights are always digging into my skull.
Just being in our room makes me feel tired and worn out. I could go somewhere completely energized and get back into the computer lab and, within moments, I feel half dead.
On top of that I've been making more and more mistakes recently. Mistakes that I would never have made in my own room on my own computer. It seems like there is some force in there that can't make me concentrate. Or possibly I'm concentrating too hard now. I've been sitting here typing at forty words a minute without even thinking.
But this isn't the way I should be writing. This isn't what I felt when I wrote my greatest story.
I don't get that chill that I usually do when I write something truly great.
Why does my strength fade?
Why is it so hard to do what I love to do?
Why don't I bring a pencil and notepad into the bathroom when I get practically write an entire story by the time I take a leak? Why?
What the hell was I talking about?
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Video Game Vendetta
Recently I saw something on tv that angered me. Which is strange because tv is usually my friend.
I saw a news documentary piece about video games influencing teenagers to go out and kill people.
As a video game expert, I can say with all honesty that video games don't influence people to go around blowing peoples heads off.
The doc made reference to video games becoming more and more realistic. I'm not denying that the realism in video games has increased, I'm just saying that most games have things that are too far-fetched in them to be real.
I'll use Fallout 3 for my example. It's one of my favorite games but it's not exactly going to convince kids to go out and kill their neighbor.
Why? Despite the realism and the various options the game gives you (such as blowing up a town) the fact that it takes place in a parallel universe where the USSR didn't collapse, certain technology was more or less advanced, took place after a nuclear holocaust a few hundred years in the future and there are mutated orcs and animals running around. Kinda unbelievable huh?
If we look at Call of Duty 3, which is based in World War 2, it's pretty realistic for sure. But the thing is that it was based on a war that took place back in the 1940's. Sure it's violent but so was the actual war.
These type of video games are a source of education. It's surprising how much you can learn from them.
Now the people who play these games are mostly teenagers. Sure they're young and can be pretty stupid, but they're old enough to distinguish between real and fake. Right and wrong. They understand that there is a difference between video games and real life. The people who use video games as an excuse for their bad behavior are just doing it to try to get some leniency.
Now there are some children who play these games and occasionally they confuse reality and fantasy. In this case, it's the parents' fault for not monitoring their children.
Also, the fact that it was on a news channel pissed me off because the story was based entirely on opinion and not on facts. It's this type of "fake" journalism that makes me not want to be a journalist.
For those parents that are uneducated in the ways of video games, I'm going to introduce you to the video game rating system.
On every video game in North America the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) puts a rating on the game somewhere. Video game producers are required to have these placed on the box and other packaging by law.
E = everyone (Basically everyone who can read)
E10 = 10-year-old or up
T = Teen
M = Mature (17 and up)
A = Adult (basically either porn or a gorefest)
RP = Rating Pending (not yet rated)
EC = Early Childhood (extreme youth 3-6 or so)
On the back of every game the ESRB places a list of things the game contains.
Using the game Assassin's Creed (because it's right next to me) I can see that the ESRB gave it an "M" for a rating. If I turn to the back I can see that the game contains Blood, Violence and Strong Language. So yeah that's a fair rating.
I saw a news documentary piece about video games influencing teenagers to go out and kill people.
As a video game expert, I can say with all honesty that video games don't influence people to go around blowing peoples heads off.
The doc made reference to video games becoming more and more realistic. I'm not denying that the realism in video games has increased, I'm just saying that most games have things that are too far-fetched in them to be real.
I'll use Fallout 3 for my example. It's one of my favorite games but it's not exactly going to convince kids to go out and kill their neighbor.
Why? Despite the realism and the various options the game gives you (such as blowing up a town) the fact that it takes place in a parallel universe where the USSR didn't collapse, certain technology was more or less advanced, took place after a nuclear holocaust a few hundred years in the future and there are mutated orcs and animals running around. Kinda unbelievable huh?
If we look at Call of Duty 3, which is based in World War 2, it's pretty realistic for sure. But the thing is that it was based on a war that took place back in the 1940's. Sure it's violent but so was the actual war.
These type of video games are a source of education. It's surprising how much you can learn from them.
Now the people who play these games are mostly teenagers. Sure they're young and can be pretty stupid, but they're old enough to distinguish between real and fake. Right and wrong. They understand that there is a difference between video games and real life. The people who use video games as an excuse for their bad behavior are just doing it to try to get some leniency.
Now there are some children who play these games and occasionally they confuse reality and fantasy. In this case, it's the parents' fault for not monitoring their children.
Also, the fact that it was on a news channel pissed me off because the story was based entirely on opinion and not on facts. It's this type of "fake" journalism that makes me not want to be a journalist.
For those parents that are uneducated in the ways of video games, I'm going to introduce you to the video game rating system.
On every video game in North America the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) puts a rating on the game somewhere. Video game producers are required to have these placed on the box and other packaging by law.
E = everyone (Basically everyone who can read)
E10 = 10-year-old or up
T = Teen
M = Mature (17 and up)
A = Adult (basically either porn or a gorefest)
RP = Rating Pending (not yet rated)
EC = Early Childhood (extreme youth 3-6 or so)
On the back of every game the ESRB places a list of things the game contains.
Using the game Assassin's Creed (because it's right next to me) I can see that the ESRB gave it an "M" for a rating. If I turn to the back I can see that the game contains Blood, Violence and Strong Language. So yeah that's a fair rating.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
How to Write a Paper in Less Than 2 Hours
There are times in everybody's life when they'll wake up from a good night's sleep and suddenly realize that they have a paper due today. Usually most people won't even bother to try and write it by then. However, if they follow these simple steps, then they can easily save themselves from getting a zero.
Firstly, they must not panic. Panicking is the worst thing that anyone could do in this situation.
Second, there must be some kind of topic that they were supposed to write about. They should find out what it is and do some quick research on the topic. This should be done in the span of ten minutes or less.
If they have been able to get this far then they should be well on their way.
The next thing to do is skim the research that has been collected and pick out key points. Things like dates people were born should be included in the paper.
After that is completed, the next thing to do is arrange them in chronological order. If it seems like the paper is jumping all over the place, the teachers will assume it was plagiarized.
Reword the points that were picked out. This will help give direction to where the paper is going.
Next is the most important step there is.
Actually write the paper, but doing it so the points that were picked out work into the story. This is the most time consuming process of all steps. It should take between 45 minutes to one hour.
The key to writing this paper is all in how it sounds when read. The writer should be putting in certain little identifying things that tell teachers that they are writing it.
After the difficult process of writing a paper, read it. Make sure that the words make sense and nothing can confuse the readers. Especially make sure there aren't any repeating sentences in there.
Next, the words themselves must be examined. Spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and various repeating words must be corrected or deleted. This is just to help keep the paper from losing marks from grammar related mistakes.
After the paper is finally written and corrected, the next step is to list the sources. These sources are listed inside either a bibliography or works cited page. There is a difference between the two things so find out what it is and which the teacher wants (if any).
The next step is to write a title page.
Find out if the teacher gave any specific title to be used and if there wasn't then make one up. The title should usually have something to do with the main topic in the paper.
Assuming the steps that are listed above have been followed, the next and final step is to format the document.
There are many different kinds of styles or “formats” that papers can follow. The style the teacher prefers should be discovered some way and used.
Formating a paper is actually easy. Just highlight everything, go up to the top of the word document and click on “format.” There should be an option that's called “paragraph.”
Click on the paragraph option and a window will pop up. To put things like “indents” in documents, go to the “special” category and choose first line. To double space a document, simply go down to “line spacing” and choose double space.
After formating the paper it should be completed. Print it or save it to a disk and hand it in.
If all these steps are followed and nothing terribly wrong happens then people should have no problem writing a paper in less than two hours.
Like me ^_^
Firstly, they must not panic. Panicking is the worst thing that anyone could do in this situation.
Second, there must be some kind of topic that they were supposed to write about. They should find out what it is and do some quick research on the topic. This should be done in the span of ten minutes or less.
If they have been able to get this far then they should be well on their way.
The next thing to do is skim the research that has been collected and pick out key points. Things like dates people were born should be included in the paper.
After that is completed, the next thing to do is arrange them in chronological order. If it seems like the paper is jumping all over the place, the teachers will assume it was plagiarized.
Reword the points that were picked out. This will help give direction to where the paper is going.
Next is the most important step there is.
Actually write the paper, but doing it so the points that were picked out work into the story. This is the most time consuming process of all steps. It should take between 45 minutes to one hour.
The key to writing this paper is all in how it sounds when read. The writer should be putting in certain little identifying things that tell teachers that they are writing it.
After the difficult process of writing a paper, read it. Make sure that the words make sense and nothing can confuse the readers. Especially make sure there aren't any repeating sentences in there.
Next, the words themselves must be examined. Spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and various repeating words must be corrected or deleted. This is just to help keep the paper from losing marks from grammar related mistakes.
After the paper is finally written and corrected, the next step is to list the sources. These sources are listed inside either a bibliography or works cited page. There is a difference between the two things so find out what it is and which the teacher wants (if any).
The next step is to write a title page.
Find out if the teacher gave any specific title to be used and if there wasn't then make one up. The title should usually have something to do with the main topic in the paper.
Assuming the steps that are listed above have been followed, the next and final step is to format the document.
There are many different kinds of styles or “formats” that papers can follow. The style the teacher prefers should be discovered some way and used.
Formating a paper is actually easy. Just highlight everything, go up to the top of the word document and click on “format.” There should be an option that's called “paragraph.”
Click on the paragraph option and a window will pop up. To put things like “indents” in documents, go to the “special” category and choose first line. To double space a document, simply go down to “line spacing” and choose double space.
After formating the paper it should be completed. Print it or save it to a disk and hand it in.
If all these steps are followed and nothing terribly wrong happens then people should have no problem writing a paper in less than two hours.
Like me ^_^
Jimi Taylor (The First Scene)
My new character creation. Jimi Taylor. This is the start of a short story that I'm writing. It's meant to give the reader a taste of what Jimi is like. If you think he's a murderous jackass that deserves to die but can't help to see a faint bit of humanity in him, then congratulations you have the ability to spot the obvious.
“You spin me right round baby, right round like a record baby, right round, round, round, round.” Marilyn Manson kept singing in his ears.
It was a beautiful summer day. July 17th. A good day like so many others.
“You spin me right round baby, right round like a record baby, right round, round, round, round,” Jimi sang to himself.
He looked out the window into the back yard. The noon sun shown brightly on the swings and various toys left on the lawn. He couldn't see past the fence but he knew that there were people and cars moving about just past it.
He turned, while wiping his knife. He stared at the bodies on the floor. The man with his stomach cut open and bleeding on the ground. His wife with her throat slit and broken limbs besides him. And of course there were the children that stumbled in unexpectedly and he had to deal with them quickly and messily while the dying woman laid on the ground watching.
Jimi wasn't happy because the children had ruined the mood he had set. And then she died before the real fun could start.
“Oh well,” he said.
He turned to the window and looked out once more. Then he heard the scrape of fingernails on the floor.
One's still alive, he thought.
He turned to the puppy under the chair. It's dark terrified eyes looked up at him pleading for its life.
Jimi looked at the dog. Then at the blade. Then at the dog again.
He approached it and grabbed its neck, then stuck the blade in stealing the life from it.
Well he thought about it anyway, right before he let the dog out the back door releasing it to freedom without a scratch.
"Damn puppy-dog eyes," he whispered.
“You spin me right round baby, right round like a record baby, right round, round, round, round.” Marilyn Manson kept singing in his ears.
It was a beautiful summer day. July 17th. A good day like so many others.
“You spin me right round baby, right round like a record baby, right round, round, round, round,” Jimi sang to himself.
He looked out the window into the back yard. The noon sun shown brightly on the swings and various toys left on the lawn. He couldn't see past the fence but he knew that there were people and cars moving about just past it.
He turned, while wiping his knife. He stared at the bodies on the floor. The man with his stomach cut open and bleeding on the ground. His wife with her throat slit and broken limbs besides him. And of course there were the children that stumbled in unexpectedly and he had to deal with them quickly and messily while the dying woman laid on the ground watching.
Jimi wasn't happy because the children had ruined the mood he had set. And then she died before the real fun could start.
“Oh well,” he said.
He turned to the window and looked out once more. Then he heard the scrape of fingernails on the floor.
One's still alive, he thought.
He turned to the puppy under the chair. It's dark terrified eyes looked up at him pleading for its life.
Jimi looked at the dog. Then at the blade. Then at the dog again.
He approached it and grabbed its neck, then stuck the blade in stealing the life from it.
Well he thought about it anyway, right before he let the dog out the back door releasing it to freedom without a scratch.
"Damn puppy-dog eyes," he whispered.
BRAAAAAAAINS
I must say, in this fucked up world filled with racism, violence, death and crappy pop music, I thought there would always be a place where i could go to escape it all.
The depths of my own mind.
Turns out, that's not as safe as I'd like it to be.
These days I end up worrying about things like getting a job, what I'm going to do about school next year and if I should move in with my girlfriend in April.
Then when I retreat into the sanctity of my own mind, I just find out that my subconscious is thinking about all that too. Surprisingly hard o write with all that shit in your brain.
I know what you're thinking. "You have suggestions to solve this Cap'n?"
No. I don't. Just deal with the shit, take it as it comes and pray to God you don't screw up.
ps: It's always nice to have a back-up plan.
The depths of my own mind.
Turns out, that's not as safe as I'd like it to be.
These days I end up worrying about things like getting a job, what I'm going to do about school next year and if I should move in with my girlfriend in April.
Then when I retreat into the sanctity of my own mind, I just find out that my subconscious is thinking about all that too. Surprisingly hard o write with all that shit in your brain.
I know what you're thinking. "You have suggestions to solve this Cap'n?"
No. I don't. Just deal with the shit, take it as it comes and pray to God you don't screw up.
ps: It's always nice to have a back-up plan.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)